Empty

I can't seem to find the right route...
Correction: I can find the right route, in fact, I have found it. I know the road by heart. I've walked it over and over in my head. I know just where the the turns are, where leaves land, where ground moistens, and where the trees provide the best shade.
On my flight home, Radio by Lana Del Rey came on my Blackberry and all I could do was relate.
Finally.
I was finally on the right road, I was doing what I used to make up in my head. The job that I always envisioned was here. I was living it. I was traveling, I was supporting, I was motivating and inspiring others. Most importantly; I was impressing a lot of important people. In short: work has been great. As the song says, "Like a fuckin dream, I'm livin it."

Now if I can just get my personal life on this, said road. I came home and of course I manage to realize that I haven't managed my finances at all... It's sad that I can be so in control of my work life, so motivated, so eager to keep growing and yet, with my personal life I can't seem to run a God damn thing...
It's really embarrassing. I'm embarrassed of myself...
I keep promising myself to focus on myself week after week.
*sigh*
I've got to focus.